Cacciatore
Cugine
Posts: 214
Registered: 22-7-2010
Member Is Offline
|
![[*]](./images/xmbforum/default_icon.gif) posted on 25-1-2012 at 11:58 |
|
|
'The Sun' article on Burns and Scotland
Article by Rod Liddle:
OCH aye the noo and Scots wha hae! It's Burns Night again – what a joy.
All across the country Scots and pretend Scots and people whose aunties once visited Oban for a long weekend will be putting on tartan skirts and
talking gibberish.
They will be guzzling testicle-sized globes of minced sheep gizzard and barley which they call "haggis".
They will be singing such hilarious ditties as Donald Where's Yer Troosers? and toasting The Krankies. And they will be reciting the God-awful poetry
of Robert "Rabbie" Burns.
Listen, I love the Scots. They punch well above their weight at lots of stuff — science, engineering, education, claiming welfare benefits, taking
heroin etc — but there are two things at which they are utterly useless.
One is food — haggis is actually a step up from most Scots delicacies like deep fried pizza, cock-a-leekie soup and Irn-Bru.
And the second is poetry. They are truly hopeless at poetry.
But the poor old Scots are about as good as poetry as the Libyans are at skiing. And put them together — food and poetry — and what have you got — a
Burns Night Supper!
There are only three poets from Scotland anyone has heard of.
The first is a bad tempered old commie called Hugh MacDiarmid, who nobody ever reads any more because he was duller than a night out in Wick.
The second is William McGonagall, who was renowned only for being a complete imbecile. He is actually famous for having been an awful poet, the Eric
The Eel of verse.
But in first place there's Rabbie Burns, with his endlessly witless doggerel about mice and haggis.
He is a joke poet too, somewhere on the level of that woman who used to read out "humorous" verse on That's Life in the 1970s. A sort of Pam McAyres,
then, except with less charm.
The Scots claim he is a genius because he wrote in dialect — ie, he uses words that no Scot in their right mind would ever use except maybe on Burns
Night. I mean, have you ever heard a Scottish person actually use the phrase "Och aye the noo!" or "Scots wha hae!" I haven't.
I suspect that when it comes to what these phrases mean most jocks are as much in the dark as I am.
The Scots also like him because he was a champion of social equality and human rights — overlooking the fact that he worked as a bookkeeper on a slave
plantation.
Yes, that's right — Burns loved Scotland so much he got the hell out for the West Indies as soon as the chance came his way. Bit warmer in Jamaica was
it, Rabbie?
Anyway, if you've been invited to a Burns Night and someone starts reciting Tam o'Shanter or Scots Wha Hae, set fire to his sporran and leave through
the nearest exit.
|
|
|
TheShark
Stand-Up Guy
Posts: 2775
Registered: 19-10-2002
Location: tropical and temperate waters
Member Is Offline
Mood: No Mood
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 12:20 |
|
|
The usual tripe spouted by The Sun south of the border. I don't know why they have a Scottish version to be honest.
This is why I stopped buying tabloids a few years ago. Double standards, no morals, reporting the truth is merely an option which is rarely taken and
having the back 8 pages being a total OF love-in.
Hazlett Driving Tuition
www.passwithhazlett.co.uk
|
|
|
killie billies pal
Stand-Up Guy
Posts: 5158
Registered: 25-6-2002
Location: West Stand
Member Is Offline
Mood: gizza job
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 12:28 |
|
|
you have to wonder if Rod Liddle or The Sun would be prepared to put together such a piece on Asian and Muslim festivities?
It appears that Racisim is fair game if you are a "SWEATY SOCK" in our English friends view
Do you think I would leave you dying, when there`s room on my horse for two!
|
|
|
killie-zenit
Cugine
Posts: 247
Registered: 22-3-2007
Location: Partick
Member Is Offline
Mood: Old Firm a-hatin'
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 12:34 |
|
|
Liddle's a slabbering bigot who's just bitter that English cultural expression reaches its zenith in Morris dancing and James Corden.
A chemical illusion of ease.
|
|
|
casual observer
Wiseguy
Posts: 775
Registered: 19-1-2011
Location: Kilmarnock, Ayrshire's Premier Town
Member Is Offline
Mood: A little bit of what you like won't hurt you.
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 12:44 |
|
|
Lazy, zenophobic and inaccurate - really surprising for an esteemed, highbrow, well regarded publication like the Sun, the Murdoch empire's flagship
paper continues to educate its readers - the percentage that can actually read and dont just look at the pictures
|
|
|
KillieFanInToon
Stand-Up Guy
Posts: 1950
Registered: 20-7-2010
Location: Exiled in Wallsend
Member Is Offline
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 12:47 |
|
|
Is he coming up with the Millwall mob?!
|
|
|
Brianstorm
Mr Storm To You
Posts: 13339
Registered: 18-2-2009
Member Is Offline
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 12:48 |
|
|
We're worse. The Scottish nation, institutionally despise the English, just because they are English, and we boast about it, sing about it, and call
it banter. Is that not what this article is.
[Edited on 08/04/2010 by Brianstorm]
|
|
|
Fauldsy
Goodfella
Posts: 1803
Registered: 15-8-2003
Member Is Offline
Mood: Gary Caldwell- w@nk.
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 12:48 |
|
|
I thought that was quite funny.
Brianstorm, step away from the keyboard.
|
|
|
Pedro
Stand-Up Guy
Posts: 3529
Registered: 14-5-2002
Location: Kilmaurs
Member Is Offline
Mood: It's a (Killie) lottery
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 12:51 |
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by Brianstorm
We're worse. The Scottish nation, institutionally despise the English, just because they are English, and we boast about it, sing about it, and call
it banter. |
English politicians and journalists are very easy to hate but, aas a people they have many fine qualities (and beers).
Scotland free 'afore ah dee
|
|
|
casual observer
Wiseguy
Posts: 775
Registered: 19-1-2011
Location: Kilmarnock, Ayrshire's Premier Town
Member Is Offline
Mood: A little bit of what you like won't hurt you.
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 12:54 |
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by Brianstorm
We're worse. The Scottish nation, institutionally despise the English, just because they are English, and we boast about it, sing about it, and call
it banter. Is that not what this article is.
Not like the English do about the French, the Dutch to the Germans, the Danish to the Swedes.........
institutionally i thought we were closely linked to our English neighbours and fellow Britons in all walks of life, business, finance, healthcare,
sport, politics, religion, no? 
altho the snp will test these ties with the referendum in the next few years............ |
|
|
|
humptydumpty87
Stand-Up Guy
Posts: 1934
Registered: 19-8-2003
Member Is Offline
Mood: eccentric
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 13:00 |
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by Fauldsy
I thought that was quite funny. |
I did chuckle and some bits.
But he's still a fairy! Shakespear is revered by the english and they don't speak 'ye olde englishe' anymare!
If you sit there and think, Who am I? How did I get here? What is going to happen when I die? you can scare the hell out of yourself. For all our
science and philosophy, nobody actually knows what happens after the last gasp, where we go, Or what we become? After the last gasp...
|
|
|
Paul
Stand-Up Guy
Posts: 3631
Registered: 15-5-2002
Member Is Online
Mood: No Mood
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 13:05 |
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by Fauldsy
I thought that was quite funny. |
me too, guy is clearly a fandan tho.
fauldsy is a benny
|
|
|
Brianstorm
Mr Storm To You
Posts: 13339
Registered: 18-2-2009
Member Is Offline
|
| posted on 25-1-2012 at 13:07 |
|
|
Yes, the guy is clearly a ballsak. Another Kelvin McKenzie type.
|
|
|
